Monday, December 22, 2008

A 'Mr.Bean' in all

This is the embarrassing cluster of incidents I had when I first boarded a flight in my life and that too it’s an international flight.

From : Chennai To : London (Gatwick Airport)
Via : Dubai, Flight : Air Emirates

Scene 1:

I reached the airport in a rented quails car with 12/14 people (relatives) in the same and followed by another car load of friends. Adding to the already crowded atmosphere of the airport. However, I was completely excited and totally thrilled with a good mix of nervousness. The scene was a bit embarrassing attracting all the non-first-time-flight passengers offering them a memory of ther own when they boarded a flight first time in ther life.

Scene 2:

I entered the security gate way to international departure and I showed almost every document I had with me while the demand was only the passport and ticket.

Scene 3:

I treated the boarding pass issuing staff almost like a visa issuing officer and totally nervous to answer every single question they ask for.

Officer: Hi
Me : Hi, Good morning … Sorry, Good evening (Confused and nervous)
Officer : (Smiling) First timeaaa ?
Me : Yaa..hehehe… here is my passport, ticket, visa documents, offer letter
Officer : Wo Wo !!! i just need the passport and ticket... Ok your bags to check in ?
Me: (I had put all I got with me) do u want me to put my hand bag too
Officer : (Again with a humiliating smile) Its ok u can take back your hand bag
My take away cabin stuffs are Big leather coat, one more sweater, big bag with full of stuffs weighing 10 kg etc…
Officer: I guess you can not carry more than 8kg on your hand bag
Me: Hehehe…. Student sir.. first time sir…. I need all these sir … please sir….
Officer : (Once again smiles) ok ok …. Have a great flight
Me: Abba am luckiest in the world…hehehe

Scene 4:

I am about to leave and my mom & grand mom opened their tap from ther eyes and the embarrassment continues… hugs, kisses, advices etc…. I was more eager and worried about the rest of the formalities until I reach the destination than getting myself embarrassed…. I said ok for all and got detached finally to the emigration counter.

Scene 5:

Managed to get in to the boarding room after an obvious nervous interaction with Emmigration officer to register my exit from India. Now, who the hell are these people waiting outside boarding longue… wat the hell they are checking with all bags… I was so scared and prayed lord balaji to get my bag safely with out any problems during the scanning… and yes, my prayers are answered…. Again, a person checking my coat, pant, shirt everything …. Embarrassing, I was showing my passport, ticket, visa docs to the security person whose duty is just to check for any prohibited goods that I may carry….

Scene 6:

First time stepping in to a flight…. Prayed balaji again… and entered…. Very cold place and bloody hell (Tamil Nadu’s Thiruavalluvar transport buses are spacious than this flight) anyway that’s least of my concern….
Air hostess: Halo sir, may I help you
ME: Hi… Hehehehe… Am traveling for the first time… could you help me finding my seat….
AH: Your boarding pass please ?
ME: Here (once again I showed all docs)
AH: (jus taking out the small paper bit and had a look) over there sir (she pointed with well polished nails)

Scene 7:

Got my seat and window seat (ofcourse I got my boarding pass 3 hours in prior and askd for a window seat).. I kept(squeezed) the oversized hand bag in the top and retained my leather coat with me…The next 3 aisle seats were occupied by a couple with their 2 year old kid… and the man threw a shock, ‘Hi… can we take the window seat and you can take the aisle seat if you don’t mind as we have kid ‘… I don have a clue wat its in his mind (and vice versa)…. My mind voice talked ‘You #@#@#!@ I was waiting for window seat in a flight all my life to have a good look at the city during take off… what you think I am a regular flyer and looking for aisle seat for my comfort’…. But my actual voice said ‘Ya, sure… no problem’….. some body kill me….

Scene 8:

The flight was about to take off and I started my prayers again and beginning to get myself worried for unknown reason… mind voice->’come on … be a man’ The flight started and I jus curious looking out and praying parallely… I was astonished to see the flight moving so slowly… I thought It will move slowly then pick up the speed and fly…. Later realized the flight is being dragged by some other vehicle to run way… hell… I was too early and started praying… lemme restart… The take off happened finally and I tightened the seat belt as tight as I could….

Scene 9:

The airhostess distributed the menu card for the meals… then I called one of them after 10 mins and asked ‘Can I pick any number of these ? Do I have to pay any ?’ , she smiled and answered politely , ‘No sir, this isn’t restaurant style card… this holds the information on the list of items served in your meal and ofcourse you have paid for all these when you buy the ticket’… yet another embarrassing one … am sure the next seat chap heared and giggled…. When will I reach dubai ahhhhhhhh

Scene 10:

Reached dubai… Clueless on what to do next… first time I saw a lovely airport in my life…. Chennai is no way near… I almost asked 10 ppl for the transit gate to Gatwick flight and quiet surprised its more than 10 mins walk… huge airport man… once again I showed all docs to the security check person in the boarding longue….

Scene 11:

Reached London Gatwick airport and the reall pressure comes in here when I stood in the queue for the immigration… I know I got all docs but still I felt I need to use the restroom… nervousness you see…. The interaction was smooth and I walked out happily to the baggage claim which is the penultimate prayer …. I wonder how my luggage arrived so safely being a non living thing with no sense to think …. Why am I not in the luggage so that I cud have avoided all embarrassments and pain…

Scene 12:

I need to catch a transport to Southampton and the taxi fare is my dad’s month’s pay…. I took the help of a staff there who unbelievably helped me out to get in to a coach and guided me on my cheapest way to travel to Southampton… thank god… all my prayers answered and ofcoure with full of embarrassments…. Any one could never forget their first international flight journey… Phew !!!

I guess i can hand over this script to Mr. Bean for his next play... and ofcourse he cant make it more humorous than the actual incidents.

4 comments:

JR said...

Classic.....I love it man....!!! I got the imagination of whole picture in my eyes and i felt like i am watching TV....and I think i am the best person to read this because i didn’t have my first air travel...but the this below line will get 200 marks "she pointed with well polished nails"...I imagined Mallika sherawath's sister(don't ask me who is she) and window seat....awesome man... Superb and simple and best blog of yours and also one of the nice real flavored story that i read....keep it up or perpendicular but don't forget to write these kind of stories.... :-)

Anonymous said...

Haha...good one. My first flight journey was domestic. I had similar experience.

During my first international journey I requested for a window seat, the lady said you already have a seat booked which is not a window seat. If you still want to change to a window seat I can give you one, she said. Then I asked her, do I have to pay extra for that...she laughed.

Krishna Ram Kuttuva Jeyaram said...

machi.. nalla yosichu paaru.. un lifele intha neraya stories irukku... keep writing, keep on writing..

Lokeshwar Reddy said...

Good one,

Experiences are the best part of life....